The first question people ask when I meet them is, "Why did you move to France?" and most assumed I came over as a student and never left. I never had a simple answer like, "I was a student" or "for a job." I generally say it was because I wanted to learn another language and I hadn't found a place I liked to live in the states and I would go on to explain that in those days it was easy to find a job in the Internet fields because it was just starting to boom in France. So, I found a job, despite not speaking french yet, and I moved over.

But, this morning I remembered the real reason. The real "plan." I wanted to attend a 2 month long intensive class in film making. You live on a boat "paniche" and study all aspects of film making from writing to lighting and camera work, editing and directing.   Somehow I had forgetten those plans completely.  I knew I wanted to "quit the Internet" which had always been a meal ticket and nothing more. I thought maybe somewhere in the film industry I would find my passion. This class was to give me a taste of many aspects and test my passion. Maybe I would one day be a documentary film maker or a producer or an editor. Who knows!

I now see that despite many false starts elsewhere, I am still in the Internet and its not so bad as a meal ticket. 

I quit painting and the idea of being an artist even before finishing college. I moved to Taiwan to "change my surroundings, experience new things, find myself, live another culture to better understand myself" 

I moved to California for a man and that is where the Internet came in. I learned to make websites, I learned to manipulate images. The web was young, it was easy and not many people knew how to do it.

I lost my father, moved back east and was in confusion again. I decided I wanted to be a psychologist. I was to attend UVA and moved to Charlottesville.  In charlottesville I was waitressing until I could afford the school program. I eventually realized I didn't want to be a psychologist and probably just needed to HAVE one. I moved to DC. I temped which led to a real job in ofcourse... the Internet.

I lived and worked in DC but hated it all. I bought my first real car, wore suits to work and had health insurance. I was very unhappy. I was searching for something else to do but had no idea what. I loved films. I found this cool intensive film making course in Paris. I had always wanted to learn another language. This was it! My new passion!

Another false start. I ended up working in an Internet company in France and forgetting the film idea. I finally quit that job saying once again, "I want out of the Internet" but I did not know where I was going. I had ideas of interior architecture and thought maybe I would freelance until I found a way into interior architecture. Ended up back in Internet for another 3 years while remodeling our apartment and another apartment we bought as an investment. I was ready to quit my Internet job again and go to school for interior architecture. 

I started, but I got pregnant and had thought I could still be a student and have a baby and work part time. Little did I know I wouldn't even make it through the pregnancy as sitting on those drafting stools for hours in classes that started at 7PM was just too exhausting when you are pregnant. Especially HUGELY pregnant with a 10 pounder cooking inside ya. I put school on hold and when baby came I found out what tired REALLY is and have been putting off going back to school ever since.

 So here is the passion/career path :

passion : be a painter 
action : leave Carnegie melon to go to a "real art school"

art school : no more passion for art or anything but perhaps travel
action: move to taiwan to figure out what you want to do

passion : a man
Action : move to california for love and figure out what you want to do. Start dabbling in Internet

passion : Psychotherapy
Action move to Virginia to go to UVA adult psychotherapy program. Become a waitress, drink and party all the time. Decide against psychotherapy.

passion : none.
Action: move to DC to get a web related job. No idea what to do with my life. 

passion: film
Action: move to paris to do film training course work Internet job to earn lviing

passion : interior architecture.
Action: freelance internet to pay way through int archi program

passion : baby
Action: baby baby baby part-time internet to pay the bills.  Read architecture magazines and wonder when I will start school again.